Sex Addiction / Compulsivity

Sexual addiction, also called compulsive sexual behaviour, means feeling unable to control sexual thoughts, urges, or actions, even when they start to cause harm.

 

This might involve pornography, masturbation, casual encounters, affairs, or paying for sex. The key sign is not how much sex someone has, but the feeling of being driven by it and being unable to stop, despite the problems it creates.

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For many people, the behaviour is a way of coping. Sex or pornography can offer a quick escape from difficult feelings such as stress, loneliness, anxiety, or low mood. Over time this becomes a habit the mind relies on, and a cycle forms: an uncomfortable feeling leads to the behaviour, which brings short-term relief, followed by guilt or shame, which then feeds the urge again.

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There is rarely a single cause. Common ones include using sex to manage stress or painful emotions, feeling low, lonely, or anxious, and difficult early experiences, including neglect or abuse.

 

Other factors include relationship problems, low self-worth, and easy, private access to online pornography, which can make the habit grow quickly.

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These problems respond well to treatment, and change is very possible through:
 

• Understanding the cycle. A therapist helps you see the triggers and feelings that drive the behaviour, so you can spot them early and respond differently.
   

• Finding new ways to cope. You learn healthier ways to handle stress and difficult emotions, so you no longer need to rely on the behaviour.
   

• Dealing with the roots. Where past experiences or shame are involved, therapy offers a safe space to work through them.
   

• Working as a couple. When trust has been affected, couples therapy can help with honesty, rebuilding trust, and moving forward together.
   

These approaches can also be combined with support from your doctor where needed, especially if low mood or anxiety are involved.
 

It is also worth remembering that everyone's sex life is different. The aim is not to judge what is "normal," but to help when the behaviour feels out of control and is causing distress.
 

If this sounds familiar, a private, confidential first appointment can help find the cause and the right treatment for you.